The Benefits of Positive Parenting
How positive parenting benefits parents and their children.
- 3 min read
- child development
- health & wellness
Positive parenting is a parenting style that prioritizes being caring, supportive, and encouraging with children while also setting boundaries. When done correctly, this style can benefit children and their parents by encouraging effective communication, boosting self-esteem, and reducing behavioral issues.
What is positive parenting?
According to the American Society for the Positive Care of Children (ASPCC), positive parenting is a style of raising children that focuses on providing encouragement and support to teach proper behaviors. Instead of primarily focusing on responding to bad behavior with punishments, parents are meant to highlight good choices and teach their children why rules are made.
The ASPCC outlines these five tools for successful positive parenting:
- Responding to your child in an appropriate manner
- Preventing risky behavior or problems before they arise
- Monitoring your child's environment
- Mentoring your child to support and encourage desired behaviors
- Modeling your behavior to provide a consistent, positive example for your child.
The approach focuses on learning for the future instead of punishing past actions. Rather than yelling at a child for being "bad," the parent should calmly note why the behavior isn't acceptable and let the child know what the consequence of his or her action will be. This process uses positive discipline to teach the child how to make better choices in the future and develop cognitive thinking.
What are the main positive parenting benefits?
The primary benefits of positive parenting include making parents more sensitive, responsive, and consistent in interactions with their children, and those benefits extend to their kids. In a newsletter featuring positive parenting from the National Institutes of Health (NIH), research shows that children who have secure attachments and strong emotional bonds with their parents help them learn how to manage their emotions and develop self-confidence.
Psychology Today links positive parenting to other benefits like:
- Higher school grades
- Fewer behavior problems
- Less substance use
- Better mental health
- Greater social competence
- More positive self-concepts
What are real-life examples of positive parenting?
Positive parenting depends on creating an atmosphere of mutual respect between you and your kids, but doing so in everyday life can be challenging. With the ASPCC's five tools at the center of this approach in mind, it's possible to use them in different combinations to teach your child with helpful efforts. Here are four examples of using positive parenting in day-to-day interactions.
1. Setting boundaries with explanations
Your child might be wondering why they can't just run out the back door without letting you know. In their mind, you let them play in the backyard all the time, so why would they need to ask permission? Positive parenting encourages you to explain the reason for the boundary, saying, "You need to ask permission before you go outside because it is my job to keep you safe. If I don't know when you're outside, I can't keep you safe."
2. Using positive words in corrections
So, what does positive parenting look like in real life? Let's say you're at the grocery store, and your toddler is running down the aisle. Instead of shouting, "Don't run!" you would say something like, "Walk slowly in this store." Overall, this approach works to correct a child's behavior by encouraging them to make better choices using age-appropriate efforts.
3. Finding root causes of bad behavior
In positive parenting, parents are also encouraged to try to understand why their children are misbehaving in the first place. For example, your child's temper tantrum or negative mood could be caused by an outside stressor. By addressing the root cause and understanding the reasons and feelings involved, both parents and children can learn to be more empathetic.
4. Modeling good behavior for your kids
Positive parenting encourages children to build cooperative relationships, and how you respond to your child's behaviors will teach them how they should react to others. For example, let's say your child picks up something they weren't allowed to touch, and you immediately respond by spanking them. Because of the behavior you modeled, your child's first instinct might be to hit a friend who picks up a toy they were playing with at school.
Can positive parenting work for co-parents?
Mistakes and misbehavior are important learning opportunities for everyone, and a positive parenting approach can help create securely attached co-parenting relationships. Kids and co-parents experience unique obstacles with shared custody, and it can be easy to focus on the negatives. Using this positive approach can help your child learn how to work through difficult feelings regardless of whether they're related to co-parenting.
If you and your ex want to use positive parenting between homes, TalkingParents can help. Our all-in-one service connects you with comprehensive features that make it easier for co-parents to be on the same page for everything related to their kids. By sticking to the same routines and approaches in each house, you and your co-parent can leverage positive parenting benefits to support your child's well-being.