Co-Parenting Pros & Cons

The pros and cons of co-parenting.

• 3 min read
• child development
• custody
• health & wellness

Co-parenting comes with pros and cons. Shared parenting has been linked to better outcomes for children of all ages across a wide range of emotional, behavioral and physical health measures. That’s according to findings published by Linda Nielsen, a Wake Forest University professor who analyzed 60 studies spanning multiple decades and numerous countries.

If both parents are fit, co-parenting (an arrangement in which both parents share the duties of raising a child) is preferred by professionals. Co-parenting isn't necessarily the right choice for all families, and some find more success in parallel parenting situations.

Pros

Numerous studies and articles cite psychological benefits to children being raised in shared parenting relationships. This includes higher self-esteem, an increased sense of security, and decreased stress inside and outside the home. Co-parenting is ultimately about two people coming together to provide care and support to their child, which is linked to a more stable psyche.

Despite these benefits, every family must make this decision based on the whole picture

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Regular support payments

Paying and receiving child support payments are typically less of a conflict in shared parenting situations, according to The Center for Divorce Education. This is based on the premise that both parents play an active parenting role, so they do not feel they have lost their children or been denied access, so they are more willing to provide financial support.

The life of a single parent can be very stressful

The demands of caring for the children, work, bills and household chores by yourself can be overwhelming. This is where a healthy co-parenting relationship can be a significant help IF the co-parents are communicating effectively, sharing relevant information with one another and treating one another with respect.

You have someone to help run the kids to practices and games; if there is a sudden illness, you have someone to help with childcare; you have another adult to help keep track of important school assignments, due dates, and doctors’ appointments.

Research has shown that co-parenting is not only beneficial to children, but parents as well

This relationship can provide necessary breaks and reduced stress for parents who would otherwise be parenting alone. Involvement from both parents can be helpful in keeping up with school, activities, doctors' appointments and more. Again, this only works if you maintain a healthy relationship with your co-parent.

Cons

If you and your former partner or spouse are unable to put differences aside, or you are still experiencing feelings of anger and hostility, co-parenting may not be the best option. A successful co-parenting relationship is one in which both parents agree that they will never disparage one another in front of their children or allow the children to speak disrespectfully about either parent. Persistent conflict can put psychological, physical, and emotional stress on your children.

Co-parenting may limit your mobility

If you and your co-parent are both committed to being in your child’s life, then you might want to live in relative proximity to one another. This can be especially difficult if one parent has a demanding travel schedule, is deployed, is relocated, or loses their job.

Successful co-parenting requires extra work on the part of both parents