How to Deal with Your Ex Getting Married

Learn how to cope with your ex getting married to effectively support your children, set healthy co-parenting boundaries, and transition to a blended family.

Posted on May 30, 2019

Updated on October 23, 2025

Adjusting to life after divorce or separation is a process that takes time and patience. Your experience may look different than others because every relationship, marriage, and parenting situation is unique. Unfortunately, finding out that your ex is getting married can bring up difficult emotions for you and your kids—even if you split a while ago.

There is no one-size-fits-all way to deal with this new circumstance and the complicated emotions that may come with it. Whether you feel sad, relieved, or something in between, becoming a blended family brings lots of change for your children and co-parenting situation. Here are some tips to productively work through and cope with your ex getting married.

Acknowledge and process your emotions

When you learn that your ex is getting remarried, it’s normal to have a strong emotional reaction. You might feel heartbroken, angry, jealous, or even unexpectedly happy. All these emotions are valid, no matter how long you’ve been separated or divorced. It’s important to process these feelings and heal from the heartbreak instead of pushing it all aside.

Do what you can to work through your feelings and protect your mental health productively. Healthy ways to cope include journaling, leaning on friends or family, talking to a counselor, or focusing on activities that bring you joy. The more you process your emotions, the easier it will be to stay calm and confident in your interactions with your ex and your children.

Shield your kids from your reactions

While it’s essential to acknowledge your own emotions, your kids should not have to carry them. Your children will have their own reactions to the news that they’re gaining a stepparent, from excitement and happiness to confusion and jealousy. Whether your response and theirs are the same or different, their feelings are just as valid as yours.

Even if you have wildly different reactions, your role is to be a sounding board for your kids. Listen to what they say, validate their feelings, and avoid judging or influencing their reactions. Your kids need to feel comfortable forming their own opinions and relationships without guilt. Staying calm and supportive will help your children feel more at ease.

Maintain clear co-parenting boundaries

Becoming a multi-parent family may change the dynamics of your co-parenting relationship, but healthy boundaries can keep things running smoothly. Communicate directly with your ex about parenting matters instead of your children or their new stepparent. Using TalkingParents can also help keep interactions organized and reduce misunderstandings.

It’s important to let your kids form their own relationship with their stepparent without getting involved. Avoid acting as a barrier between your kids and your ex’s new spouse. Encourage the kids to talk to their other parent if they share any concerns or problems with you, and work with your co-parent directly if your children’s new stepparent oversteps.

Revisit your parenting plan if needed

Your ex’s remarriage might lead to logistical changes in your parenting plan or daily routines. Talk with your co-parent privately about how the new arrangement could affect your situation and whether you need to modify your plan. You should also consider if there are any helpful provisions you can add, such as a right of first refusal, to add structure.

If your divorce agreement includes alimony or child support, it may be worth checking in with a professional to see whether your ex’s new marriage changes anything legally or financially. Working with a local family law attorney or an experienced financial advisor can provide clarity that helps everyone in the family prepare for the future.

Support your kids through the transition

Going through a lot of change in a short period can be stressful for kids, even if those changes are positive. They may worry about where they fit in the new family, whether they’ll be treated differently, or how a relationship with their new stepparent affects their loyalty to you. Adjusting to these new family dynamics takes time and extra support.

Help your children navigate the transition by sticking to consistent routines and reminding them that they are loved and safe in both homes. Encourage them to talk openly and reassure them that it’s okay to have mixed feelings. If your kids continue to struggle, consider involving a child therapist to help them process their emotions in a healthy way.

Focus on the future for yourself and your kids

Dealing with your ex getting married can feel like closing the last page of a chapter, but it can also be the start of a new one for you. Take time to reflect on what you’ve learned and to focus on your own happiness, goals, and relationships. Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting your past—it means choosing peace for yourself and your children.

As you adapt to this new phase, remember that your stability and emotional well-being are the foundation for your kids’ sense of security. The more prepared and emotionally steady you are, the better you can support your children’s needs openly, honestly, and consistently. With open communication, your kids can thrive in your newly blended family.