How to Help Your Ex See the Value of TalkingParents
Our tips for getting your ex on board with TalkingParents.
If you’ve created a TalkingParents account because you want calmer, clearer co-parenting, you’re already taking a productive step in the right direction. But if your ex won’t create an account or isn’t open to the idea of using a co-parenting app, it can feel like you’re stuck before you’ve even started. That’s a frustrating place to be—especially when your goal is less co-parenting stress, not more.
Having a single shared app for schedules and kid updates can reduce that stress for both of you, and there are ways to help your ex understand the benefits. The key is knowing how to introduce TalkingParents in a way that feels practical and mutual. Keep reading to explore the concerns your ex may be feeling and learn what you can share to make matching accounts and moving forward with the app feel like easier next steps.
What does it mean to match TalkingParents accounts?
Before you can use TalkingParents together, your accounts have to be matched. That requirement can feel like a big ask if your co-parent is already resistant. “Matching” accounts is often misunderstood, and clearing that up is one of the easiest ways to reduce pushback. Matching simply connects you and your co-parent to the same shared space so you can communicate in the app.
If your co-parent is hesitant about being too connected, it may help to clarify what matching actually means. Your accounts are completely separate and secure, even when matched, and neither of you is required to share phone numbers, email addresses, or other personal details. TalkingParents isn’t about access to each other’s private lives—it’s about creating an organized place dedicated to child-related communication. In fact, many people use our app to keep co-parenting matters separate from their everyday lives.
What should I consider before talking to my ex about TalkingParents?
Before you bring up TalkingParents, it helps to step back and think about how you want the conversation to go. If your co-parent feels surprised, cornered, or criticized, they’re more likely to reject the idea—even if it would genuinely make co-parenting easier. Ask yourself these questions to help you understand the situation and take a calmer, more neutral approach that naturally addresses their concerns.
If you’re in a conflicted co-parenting dynamic or have safety concerns, it’s also important to consider what type of conversation feels safest for you. In some situations, bringing up a new communication tool in person can escalate tension, even if your intention is practical. Your well-being should come first, so consider starting with a brief message or discussing next steps with a trusted professional if needed.
What pain points would TalkingParents solve?
To convince your ex that TalkingParents is worth it, it helps to get specific about what’s not working right now. Your ex may resist the idea simply because they don’t see a clear reason to make the switch. When you can highlight a few concrete pain points you both experience, it’s easier for them to hear “this would make life simpler,” instead of “this is something you’re doing to me.”
Start by considering the pain points that create the most tension for both of you, such as:
- Schedule changes and last-minute updates
- Pick-up/drop-off logistics, locations, and timing
- School communication, activity schedules, and reminders
- Medical updates, appointments, and shared information
- Shared expenses, reimbursements, and receipt tracking
- High message volume, repetitive questions, or unclear expectations
Why might my ex not want to sign up for TalkingParents?
Even when the benefits are clear to you, your ex may be reacting to what they think a co-parenting app represents. Some concerns are practical, while others are emotional—especially if your previous relationship and past co-parenting communication have been tense. Ultimately, the best way for you to approach the suggestion of using TalkingParents is based on why your ex pushes back on the idea.
Some of the most common hesitations our users have heard are that their ex:
- Doesn’t want to learn a new tool
- Worries that it’s “about documentation”
- Doesn’t want to feel monitored or controlled
- Prefers texting because it’s familiar
- Thinks it will create more conflict, not less
- Doesn’t want to pay for “another app”
- Wants to avoid interactions altogether
- When is the best time to bring up TalkingParents to my ex?
Timing your conversation is critical—if you bring up TalkingParents in the middle of a conflict, your co-parent is more likely to see it as a criticism or a consequence. Even if your intention is practical, a tense moment can make it feel like you’re trying to win or prove a point. A better time is when things are relatively calm, you’re discussing logistics anyway, and organization tools would be helpful if you both had them.
As for whether to bring it up in person or digitally, choose the format that keeps the conversation as neutral as possible. If in-person chats tend to escalate, a short text or email can give both of you space to process without reacting in the moment. If you do better face-to-face and can keep the tone calm, a brief in-person mention can work. Either way, aim for a situation where your ask feels clear and easy to consider.
How can I convince my ex that TalkingParents is worth it?
When discussing TalkingParents with your ex, it’s best to focus on how the app can help both of you—even if you’re already doing your part to make it work. By centering the discussion around practical outcomes, you can avoid placing blame and instead prioritize solutions. Here are the top six shared benefits we recommend highlighting to your ex when asking them to consider signing up.
1. It gives us one reliable point of reference
When co-parenting details live across texts, emails, and multiple calendars, it’s easy for details to get missed or misunderstood. Our app gives you one consistent place for schedules, updates, and requests, so you’re both referring to the same information. Over time, the “I never saw that” and “I thought you meant…” statements can turn into more predictable logistics and routines for you, your ex, and your children.
2. It helps us stick to child-centered co-parenting
Co-parenting can get emotionally charged fast, even when the topic starts out simple. Having a dedicated platform for child-related communication can help keep conversations focused on the facts and tasks that support your kids. This approach can be especially helpful when you’re trying to set boundaries and avoid side conversations that derail the original goal, giving everyone involved more peace of mind.
3. It reduces back-and-forth conversations
A major reason co-parenting feels draining is that the same questions and details come up again and again. TalkingParents makes it easier to organize and revisit information with detailed calendar edit logs, customizable message subjects, and more, so you can revisit details without re-explaining them repeatedly. When information is easier to find, you and your ex will likely send fewer messages overall.
4. It organizes our co-parenting logistics
Co-parenting isn’t just messaging—it’s schedules, shared expenses, documents, and other details that tend to pile up quickly. TalkingParents keeps all those moving parts in one place, so you and your ex aren’t juggling multiple platforms to stay on the same page. It’s like having one home base for co-parenting logistics, which can reduce the stress and mental load of manual tracking—especially when life gets busy.
5. It holds us both equally accountable
When everything is scattered, unclear plans can turn follow-through into tension. Using TalkingParents helps keep key details documented in one place, so you’re less likely to disagree about what was requested, what was confirmed, or when an update was shared. Instead of trying to catch each other’s mistakes, you can keep expectations clearer—and move forward with the same information on both sides.
6. It separates co-parenting from the rest of our lives
Co-parenting doesn’t have to spill into every part of the day through notifications that blur the lines between parenting logistics and personal time. TalkingParents shifts shared parenting away from texts and social apps, helping you both feel less tied to each other overall. Instead of feeling like you’re always connected, you can both protect your routines and mental health by keeping co-parenting separated.
Here are some points to help you address your ex’s specific concerns if they still hesitate:
- If they’re opposed to learning a new tool, keep the ask small and suggest a 30-day trial so you can both see how it works and whether it fits your situation.
- If they’re worried about documentation, reframe the app as a way to reduce misunderstandings and keep logistics clear for both of you—not just yourself.
- If they don’t want to feel monitored or controlled, emphasize that your accounts remain separate, no one can monitor account activity, and matching doesn’t mean sharing personal details.
- If they prefer texting instead, explain that consolidating messages, schedules, and more in one place can reduce repeated questions and make information easier to find.
- If they think it’s bound to create more conflict, set expectations up front that you can both stick to kid-focused messages and a calm, neutral tone with each other.
- If they don’t want to pay for another subscription, remind them that the cost can be worth the time, effort, and stress it saves by keeping everything organized and documented.
- If they don’t want to interact with you, keep your ask clear and practical by reiterating that communication will be child-focused and minimal when you’re on the same page.
What if my ex still refuses to use TalkingParents?
If your ex still won’t engage and communication isn’t improving, you may want to consider working with a mediator or family law attorney to add TalkingParents in a parenting plan provision. This step can be helpful when they refuse to sign up while being inconsistent on other channels. If a court order requires you both to use the app, it can streamline everyday interactions and make them less stressful—even if your ex isn’t on board at first.
We’re here to support you throughout your co-parenting journey
Co-parenting can feel heavy, especially when you’re doing your best and feel like your ex isn’t meeting you halfway. No matter where you are in the process, you don’t have to figure it out alone. We offer helpful insights across our parenting resources and social channels to help you stay informed, feel supported, and approach each day with more confidence. Whether your co-parent joins quickly or needs time to come around, we’re here to help you move forward with a calmer, more child-centered approach.